Today the beast creeped up on me and convinced me that nobody loves me.
Not my little sister in New York.
Not my coworkers.
Not Rachel or Shawn who were supposed to Skype me. Or my mom. Or my boyfriend.
I came back to myself, just to have a beer in a shit hole of a bar.
But Robert didn't go for it
and I was gone again.
I walked to the school playground and lay in the tower of the play structure.
I watched the moon until dark night clouds covered it. I watched for it to reappear.
It did, but only for a second.
The beast asks me what it would feel like if I shot myself in the head.
Would it hurt?
How long would the pain last?
How long before it was over?
.....Would it be worth it?
My body said sleep
Robert wanted to join the party
I said go
The beast decides to stay the night.
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