I've been on a self-hating kick the past few days. It's doing wonders, I can already feel the difference!
Jokes. Angsty jokes.
Yesterday it was because my body disgusts me. I spent an hour or so Facebook-stalking girlfriends of mine that I think are beautiful and shaming myself for not looking more like them. I am dreading summer.
Today it's because I got an A- in my French class, rather than an A. Also, I have a ten-page paper to write for another class. I had planned to sit down today and just bust it out. It's a writing strategy that works pretty well for me most of the time. Once I get started, it's not difficult to write until I'm done. It's the starting that is the challenge. Some days it's not, but a lot of days it is.
Instead, I'm in my bed, drinking coffee, listening to music and writing about the not-doing.
This is bullshit.
Afterthought:
Oh wait, here's another joke. I got started. I wrote about a page and half. I thought there was a possibility I would finish today. But then I didn't. And now I'm back to doing the same things I was doing before. And to add to my shitty list of excuses for not writing it, I'm watching shitty youtube videos.
This is a shit pile and I'm hidden somewhere in the middle of it. Godfuckingdamnit.
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