I think I've been manic. I don't know for sure, which is new. I guess it looks different now, with meds and everything. I've been shaky, paranoid and productive---I'm especially suspicious of that last one. My skin itches from the inside, buzzing like it's an electric current, instead of blood, that runs through my veins. The worst part is my heart; its beating is fast, but so very heavy that it hurts. And sleep. Oh how I miss sleep. Even with my sleep medication, it seems like it takes me longer to fall asleep every night.
But it might be all of the coffee. And the stress of school combined with my determination to pass my classes. This may actually be very normal. I guess it makes sense that I wouldn't know.
It's unfortunate that whatever this is, I'm not going to get to know it very well. At least for right now.
Did you know that I would do anything for my family?
I'm willing to sacrifice whatever this thing is for them.
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by my love for my family. But it's a scary thing, love. Isn't it?
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