I think I'm on my way out.
I'm surprised that I've managed to get here before the term ends. Most of the time it doesn't work that way. I'm thankful though and I'm not going to spend any more time questioning it. I'm just going to let a good thing, be a good thing for once.

In the last three months I've seen within myself all of the things that matter and all that I am capable of. A lot of the time what I experience is so internal that I'm overwhelmed by my own emotions. My mood cycles catch me up and carry me for unpredictable and sometimes indefinite, periods of time. My brain is so full of this internal chaos, I'm unable to think or pay attention to anything else.

This is when my beast gets opportunistic.
While I'm preoccupied he cuts me down.
My back is turned and he's fucking shit up.
I'm a stick of dynamite and my beast is the one to light me and watch me blow.

I come back around later and I'm surrounded by wreckage;
All of the things I've neglected
All of people that have been trying to get a hold of me
All of the ways I've failed myself

I forget so easily what it feels like to be capable of things.

Tomorrow, I'm going to spend the day studying. I'm going to sit in the feeling of it.
I'm gonna tell my beast he can fuck right off.