I've changed all of my classes from grading A-F to pass/no pass. This should take some of the pressure off because I won't be worried about the percentages or grades on assignments and as long as I pass, I'll receive credit without it affecting my GPA. But even after doing that, I need to write emails to my professors and I've been putting it off for the last two days. Email is usually a relatively safe way for me to communicate with people, because I don't have to face them in person and I don't have to hear their voices over the phone. Right now though, I feel as anxious about pressing send as I would if I were standing right in front of them. I'm so prepared for rejection, anytime I ask anything from my professors, even though I have a pretty good track record. I don't know what's going to happen here, I don't know what I'm so scared about. Usually when I send an email I'm making a specific request: an extension, an excused absence, the submission of a late assignment etc. I think maybe I'm so nervous because this time I have nothing specific I want to ask for. I just want to talk to each of them about how the rest of this term is going to look, how I'm going to make it through and pass. That's a big question and I know they most likely don't feel like that's their responsibility. And there's some truth to that, I'm an adult, it's my education etc. etc. etc. But they're teachers, right? They want their students to learn and succeed? I know not all of them do, or at least deep down are apathetic. I'm just hoping the ones I have this term are invested in me as a student.

Here goes nothin'.

UPDATE: I sent the emails. I'm holding my breath.